Enhance Your Negotiation Skills By Discovering The One Element That Divides The Novice From The Professional Negotiator In The Negotiation Game

There is one central idea, one key concept that is very important to understand.

Get this right and you will be compensated with profitable, enjoyable and long lasting relationships in which price is not the only element. If you fail to get this right, you will struggle with sub optimal business relationships and you will likely end up bartering about price in probably all of your negotiations.

The one thing that matters most is comprehending the interests of your counterpart in your negotiations; this is an important element taught in negotiation training.

Generally we have a good understanding of our own objectives, needs and desires. When we negotiate with others, we typically begin with trying to persuade them to see the world the way that we do. We think to ourselves that because it makes sense to us, surely it must make sense to our counterparts. The problem with this method is that it completely disregards the objectives, needs and desires of our counterparts.

What will it achieve trying to persuade someone to do anything that they don't trust would be in line with their objectives, viewpoints and desires?

You will not under any circumstances convince someone to agree with you by disagreeing with them, quite the reverse will happen. Because you tell someone that they are incorrect and you are the one that is right, you will force them to defend their stance rather than listen to yours. Nobody likes to be wrong and if you tell someone that they are wrong it will become very important for them to defend their position because their personal integrity is at risk.

Not often will you achieve consensus with someone after you have told them that they are incorrect, you have also managed to paint yourself into a corner. If it was important for you to reach agreement and you loose the argument, then you will have to sacrifice your own integrity by departing from your 'correct' stance to accept the argument of your counterpart.

If you want to reach consensus the easy way rather than have your negotiations spiral into a positional argument, here's my suggestion:

Start by asking some questions, the best of which you can ask will be questions designed to show the interests behind the positions that the other side have assumed in the negotiation. Open questions are the best kind of questions to expose the interest or motivators that reinforce your counterpart's positions.

Here's a great question you can use and simultaneously endorsing your negotiation skills: Why are you negotiating with me / my organisation?

This is quite probably the best question to ask at the beginning of a negotiation. Follow this question by asking your counterpart to expand on and to rank the reasons offered in response to your questions. Then you will have a prioritised list of their most important interests.

Sample Interests:
- Individual: Security, Recognition and Control
- Organisation: Profit, Risk Avoidance and Strategic Fit (Some key elements you would have learned in purchasing training)

Once you have an awareness of your counterparts' key interests it is a good idea to share your own interests. Once all the parties to the negotiation have disclosed their interests it will be much easier to recognise the areas of common ground and then it is useful to present your argument in the context of how it would meet their interests. This way, you will not have to persuade your counterpart that your stance is correct; you will only have to demonstrate that your suggested course of action would meet their interests.

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